Going Commando for $13 bucks

Maybe its just me but when I heard that a Lingerie firm is offers women "liberating" loincloths I was slightly confused. Where I'm from if you go around with a lil skirt with no underwear on its known as going Commando and/or Flashing the Good Stuff. Also, its generally NOT something you do during daylight hours unless your a hippie, a skank or trying to attract a DOM (Dirty Old Man). Not to mention the fact why would you pay $13 bucks for two washcloths tied with string?

AWESOME!

How Bad Is It?

The economy is so bad....

• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
• Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
• PETA serves chicken wings at their meetings.
• McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
• People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
• A truck of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico.
• The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
• Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
• People in Africa are donating money to Americans.
• Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"
• Motel Six won't leave the light on.
• The Mafia is laying off judges.

And finally...

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. So, the guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.

"Extreme" Sports

"Extreme" sports... aka WTF!? aka if Tanner was dared........

Grr.. Guess Jill's mood

Stupid Boss.... part deux

What more can I say? My superiors are pencil loving, penny pinching, morons



To: All Radio X Network Employees
From: George Allen Shaffer
CC: Tanner Blackart- Operations Manager
Date: March 23, 2009
Re: Supplies


Fellow Employees:

You may have noticed the recent replacement of all pens located in the front desk reception area. We will now only be using one (1) box of Number 2 pencils for all corporate documents and inter office memos. This decision was not made lightly. In an effort to save this company, its stations money, and help control expenses, we have no choice but to cut back on stationary items.

We were going to replace the pens with mechanical pencils but received a better deal on number 2 pencils with our flexible Dollar General trade out agreement. In emergency events, 1 pen was left in reception and will be held accountable for. Please be sure and sign the sheet should this be removed and keep track of the ink levels after each use. Jill, you will have to keep track of these ink levels and sign out sheet daily to ensure we get a replacement when necessary. It is locked down on your desk to ensure nobody, including clients, walks away with it without signing it our first.

Security will be posted to search each guest and employee if anyone becomes suspected of removing Radio X Corporation property as they exit the building and to ensure that company assets are not stolen or removed without prior management permission. Remember you job could be at risk if you fail to apply this corporate memo and regulation. Thank you all for your hard work and consideration in this matter as we all pull together to save money and jobs in these hard times.


--
George Allen Shaffer

Free prayers! ... sort of

So after stumbling upon Tanner in the supply closet praying to all the gods (to include Zeus and Thor) because he's losing in his March Madness bonanza I took pity, or maybe it was the depressingly cute Buddha, either way it was rather pathetic.

So after an intense 15 minutes of leisurely scouring the web I wandered onto this: Information Age Prayer an apparently "new and exciting way to connect with God" according to their FAQ. Not quite sure if this is blasphemous or not.. but at least it might get Tanner out of the closet enough to do his segmant.

NOT a women driver!

I'd just like to point out before I begin is that there were NO WOMEN DRIVERS on the sub as the Navy frowns on women be stuck in a sardine can with a bunch of lonely boys. That stated... explain to me how a U.S. sub hits a U.S. destroyer??

My understanding from the magics of TV, Movies and of course, the Internet, is that Subs are supposed to have great sonar to detect things in the sea. Before today, I would have *assumed* that would have included a 9,000 ton destroyer thats over 500 feet long. Apparently I was wrong.




On a side note, that highly annoying March Madness Sickness that Tanner has that causes him to talk non-stop about basketball, bracketology and how team colors and mascots directly relate to team curses? Yea.. so whooping his butt so feel free to rub it in... JJ and I certainly do!

U.S. Navy vessels collide near Iran

Hilarious new commercials!

Eric O'Shea

12 or more? Your a Geek!

1. If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
2. If Dilbert is your hero (hmmmm.)
3. If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
4. If you window shop at Radio Shack
5. If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
6. If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
7. If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
8. If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
9. If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
10. If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
11. If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
12. If you truly believe aliens are living among us
13. If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires (uh oh.)
14. If you have more toys than your kids
15. If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
16. If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
17. If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
18. If you replace your pinky finger with a USB flash drive!!!!

March Madness? More like Monotony

Oh lord.. its that time of the year, the aptly called "March Madness." Once again Tanner is going about The Entire Station droning going on and on and on and on about March Madness, Basketball, the proper way to Bracketology, etc etc etc its enough to put someone asleep!

I can tell you, I'm *this* close to paying the pimply donut boy to be his Bracket-Buddy for the month just so he'll leave me alone!

Be warned though! If you see Tanner his March Madness Monologue and super excited puppy dog face is weirdly effective, After 9 days I've already broken down and joined Tanner's Radio X Bracketology contest just so he'd go bug JJ or someone else!

Genius!

I can't believe never thought of this to level out Tanner and JJ!!

Employee Spikes her Boss' Coffee

How I get through the day not assaulting Tanner or JJ

Bad math..

I've never been so good at that 4-letter word called Math but here's an ending I can get behind...

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But---- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg.

"Good" parents...

Everyone knows at least 1 person who, when you met their parents, thought they epitomize the need for a license to breed.... 4-Year old Brings Pot to Preschool

Slpel checker

In the Era of the Internet its only a given that most people get at least half a dozen emails per day, and as a receptionist its only a given that I easily get 4 times as many per day and I have two recommendation to not have your emails be sent to the trash.

1) Do NOT type in all caps! I don't call you up on the phone and sit there and scream at you and then act confuse when you hang up on me for doing so!

2) Two words: Spell Checker!

Now granted the egg heads over at Cambridge University are convinced that you can read even the most badly spelt word so long as the first and last letter are in the right place. Can you read the below?


Suposdely olny srmat poelpe can.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt

A peek in Jill's email

So seeing as how I got 4 hours of sleep since I spent the night hanging with friends and have thus spent the entire day mastering the art of looking busy (it helps if you constantly shift papers from one pile to another) while mainlining caffeine, I thought I'd share some of the weird/amusing/stupid pictures that come through my email....



Yes men.. this is true for majority of women:

Ok, this SO describes Tanner and JJ if you actually got them to help you move... I wouldn't recommend it, god only knows what might go missing:



Dream on guys...


Being a baby is rough...

Oprah=Gold? Uh.. not this time

Apparently if someone promotes something on Oprah it makes godlen. But this latest attempt at a hawk just severely disturbs me: Handheld Portable Bidet Sprayers.
Its called TWO PLY people!! Learn to hit the paper!

You do the math... or not

So apparently there's a French website where you can pay people smarter than you (or at least more dedicated to the evils that is math) to do your math homework for you.


I have one question.... WHERE WAS THIS WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL!? I mean damn! If I had been able to pay some math genius to do my math homework without having to commit myself to a bad date at the Waffle House I might have actually been able to get into a 4 year college! Who knows... I could be working at something so much cooler than this looney tunes bin!


Wait a minute.. there could be a downside to supposedly being "good" at math, I might end up with a job that requires math daily. And of course, by the that point I'd been so used to lying and claiming to be good at math I'd be too damn stubborn to not take the job and instead screw the company over ala... a Stockbroker.



Full Story: You do the math. Or pay a website to do it

Think *your* boss is a moron?

The following is an acutal correspondence from the Big Cheese: George Alan Schaffer


RADIO X EMPLOYEES,

I REGRET TO INFORM EVERYONE THAT THE KIT KAT BARS LOCATED IN THE PROMOTIONS OFFICE ARE NOT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION – AT LEAST NOT FOR STATION EMPLOYEE CONSUMPTION. THOSE ARE FOR SAMPLING OPPORTUNITIES ONLY. I KNOW THAT IT APPEARED TO BE A FREE FOR ALL BUT WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT THOSE MUST LAST US THROUGH THE END OF MAY.

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM EATING THOSE LIKE POPCORN. AS WELL, WHOEVER BROKE OPEN THE SECOND BOX – REALLY WE SHOULD HAVE ASKED FIRST.

THANKS, AND SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

GEORGE ALLAN SCHAFFER


Yes boys and girls, that really was a genuine email from the modern date Lord of the Morons. See! There really is someone dumber then The Boys: Tanner and JJ.

And yes, it did come in all caps, I'm just shocked he knew how to log into his email without a manual with more pictures than words.

All you need is... love?

Parents always tell us "you want a good job? then get a college degree!" And in this climate everyone's looking closely at resumes. What I want to know is what the heck kind of job are you trying to get with a degree in The Beatles!? (and yes, I do mean the band) I mean seriously? That's like saying I am working on my BA in Underwater Basket Weaving for a job I want in the potato-chip factory.


Then again, maybe if I had a degree in The Beatles I wouldn't be a receptionist at Radio X......



Full Story: All you need is love

There's always someone who thinks they're hilarious...

Button your coats!

I understand when its cold out when most people are expecting it to be warm out and/or when it normally doesn't get that cold it can be a shock.

BUT

If you can't manage to take the few seconds to zip up your bloody coat you have no right to complain about it being cold!!

That's almost as stupid as lying in the sun for 5 hours without putting sunscreen on and then being confused when you get burnt.

Rappers washed out Auctioneers?

So I've decided rappers are just auctioneers who couldn't make it in the cutthroat world of Christie's auction house. The reason you've never heard anyone say this before is because the Auctioneer Union is almost as scary as the Steamroller's association.