From Jill's email

Find the 10 faces in the tree














Find the 3 ladies














Find the baby

Soda & Beer

The warmer it gets outside, the more the crazies try to skip out earlier and dump their work on me. Since I was told at my last eval that I'm not allowed to shoot the offenders with nerf darts or rubber band guns I've come to a solution to deal with the extra work: Caffeine & Beer (but not mixed). so I am a devotee to Mt. Dew but some things the soda makers due confuse the heck out of me:

• Like Cucumber flavored soda!?
• The Germans tried to copy Coca-Cola and came up with the drink Fanta.
• The average American consumes enough caffeine in one year to kill a horse.
• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
• The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. 'UP' indicated the direction of the bubbles

Memorial Day Weekend

As you celebrate your extended weekend remember what the long standing Memorial Day was established for. Its not just a day to escape from work, go to BBQs, drink beer or curse because something is closed for the holiday. You may not agree with this war, but that is not the point of honoring the fallen of America.

Please take a minute during the national moment of silence at 3pm EST Monday to remember those who've fought and died throughout America's history for our rights and thank them.



The True Meaning of Memorial Day



Memorial Day - Arlington (Trace Adkins)

Huzzah!

I may have finally found a way to finish that degree so I can get the heck out of this loony tunes place known as Radio X!! The Study Ball is a 20lb old school chain gang ball that hooks to your ankle and won't release you for whatever time you've designated.
Heck... even if I don't end up using it for studying I can use it to capture Tanner and McKay so I'm free for a 4 hours of them sneaking up on me with the rubber band gun.

If only....

If only some of the idiot chicks I went to school had seen this maybe their kid wouldn't be so jacked up....


PSA Teen Mommy Darci

Stupid reasons for being late

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have heard for being late to work:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.
2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.
3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again. (ok this, I maintain, is a very legitimate excuse!)
4. I got locked in my trunk by my son. (uh... what hte hell were you doing IN the trunk in the first place? Couldn't figure out how to recline your seat for a quickie?)
5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work. (apparently someone forgot how to use the arm signals they learned in drivers ed)
6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic. (was there a person still in it?)
7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.
8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.
9. My father didn't wake me up.
10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat. (a... groundhog...? Where the hell are you living??)
11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.
12. I had to go to bingo.

The sexual addition....

So it appears the Media is conspiring for a sexualized news today so I thought I'd share some the odder/amusing ones.

Ohio Man Sentenced to 90 days After Shooting Wife During Sex

Man Rides Bike 180 Miles, All for Sex With Teenager

Father who asked prostitute to take 14-year-old son's virginity as a present is spared jail

Sexually frustrated emu tries to herd woman into nest

Granny has vaginal surgery to snag young husband

A MIRACLE new smart-bra that BOOSTS a woman's cleavage when she feels sexy is being tested by lingerie designers.

Sexy mascot can stay at eatery if curves covered

Was it a lucky frog?

So this froggie was ripped open by a lawnmower in Australia and they rushed it to the emergency room where they stitched it up even though it was "touch and go" for awhile.
Seriously? Was this *the* frog that if you kiss it'd turn into a prince? Or was it lucky? Maybe it was the representitive for an alien species and the local government didn't want to be demonlished by lazer beams?

The History of the Middle Finger

Not sure how true this is, but it has a ring of truth so its possible...

The History of the Middle Finger

Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'

I'll never look at Turkey the same again...

Something to scare you into calling your mom

Mr. T's "Treat Your Mother Right"

New Sign for Jill's Desk

Definition of Friendship

My Hero!!

Jarrad Farbs quit his job by creating a playable Super Mario Bros resignation letter.

I'm *so* jealous! 1) that he got to give his crappy job the boot
2) that he went for such a classic game for the "toodles loosers" letter

Idiots with guns

'Man who slept with gun shoots self'

Don't get me wrong, I complete agree its part of our legal right to own and bear arms.... however... I also completly agree with the concept of the Darwin Awards.


Idiot with gun

Idiot of the week

Man Checks pot pipe at courthouse

The best part? His first name is Clinton