Stupid reasons for being late

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have heard for being late to work:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.
2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.
3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again. (ok this, I maintain, is a very legitimate excuse!)
4. I got locked in my trunk by my son. (uh... what hte hell were you doing IN the trunk in the first place? Couldn't figure out how to recline your seat for a quickie?)
5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work. (apparently someone forgot how to use the arm signals they learned in drivers ed)
6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic. (was there a person still in it?)
7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.
8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.
9. My father didn't wake me up.
10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat. (a... groundhog...? Where the hell are you living??)
11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.
12. I had to go to bingo.